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.:: Missy ::.
Nothing that exciting going on. Well, there kind of is in some ways.

The teacher that I've been in for at OF has officially retired, making me a permanent substitute starting back in January. I am getting a niiice retro-active pay from back then and am on a teacher's salary until the end of the school year. They've also offered to let me join the PA teacher's union. All of this is nice, and I'm not complaining, back as of June 6th I'm right back where I was last June 6th. OF can't promise me a job...because they are promised to other people already. So, next year I'm moving on to different schools. But I've been a total slacker and haven't sent any applications out yet. Damn me.

I do have a summer job lined up though. I'll be teaching at a summer program at the Friendship House in Scranton. It's mainly emotionally disturbed children, but I think it'll be a good experience and definitely interesting. Especially since I am thinking about going back to school for my Special Ed degree.

And I'm still working at DSW part-time at night and on the weekends. It's not bad...but I might quit since I'll be making decent money at the Friendship House. I really enjoy looking at the shoes though..and the 30% discount.

I've got quite a bit planned for the summer, kind of. Cancun in June...I can't wait already! And I might be going to OCMD with some Bloomsburg folk in July. I'm also considering a trip to CO in August to visit Gary. It all depends how well I can budget my cash money haha.

I'm also really excited for the Sex and the City movie haha. I'm also in love with my new mp3 player.

Aaaand, there's more but nothing important. I'd be rambling about nonsense more than I already have. Thats about it.

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Third Eye Blind - Don't Believe A Word
.:: Missy ::.
17 April 2008 @ 07:36 pm
This has potential to be long, I can feel it. Where it start?

Tuesday night I went to see Third Eye Blind at Mansfield. I took a half day of school, and wound up taking the next day off to give myself ample time haha. It was actually really cool because Tony (the one guitarist) hooked me up with Preshow passes stocked with the band, food and some press and then let me go into the gym early. Then right when the concert was ending some crew guy came up to me and gave me an Aftershow pass and said I was on the guestlist. So I basically just hung out with the band for a little bit. Then the best part of all...Brad, the drummer, invited about 6 of us fans onto the tour bus. To make a loooong story short, I ended up drinking with Third Eye Blind on their tour bus. Amazing. It was so much fun...Stephan Jenkins and I talked about the education system, flip flops and wine. Leo, the bassist, was doing the old school dance moves like the shopping cart, sprinkler etc to techno. Brad was just laid back and hanging out. Tony was MIA for most of the night, I think he was sick. I was probably on there for about...2 hours. We ordered food, drank and just hung out. It was unbelievable. The bus is niiiiiice. And they actually stayed in Wilkes-Barre on Sunday night so that was random. Then it was my cue to leave when these other girls came on dancing with each other haha.

Whenever I go to concerts, specifically 3eb concerts, its like I float up and out of myself. I can't even explain it. I get so lost in myself, the moment and the music, and yet I am totally doing what I should be. It's like a moment of realization. I feel like I shouldn't be a teacher and I should just become a hardcore roadie haha. I guess everyone feels like that from time to time. It really puts me on edge for the weeks to follow. Could you imagine doing that every night?? Stephan made some comment on the bus how they do this every single night, but it's always different. Always meeting new people, different stories. And he was so upbeat about it and really just genuinely interested in the lives of everyone. The man could do whatever the fuck he wants...could you imagine? Sometimes I really want to be a nomad...like I'm destined for something greater. Unfortunately the world isn't set up for that.

And on that note, I'm officially in Old Forge for the rest of the year. I'm hoping I can slip right into a permanent position, but I know that I'm dreaming haha. I think that if I don't get a job after next school year, I'm going back to school to get my degree for Special Ed too.

My brother came in this weekend from Colorado. I hung out with him all day Saturday and Sunday. I miss him so much it's ridiculous. It was so sad when he had to leave. I cried for probably a half hour. At the wedding he is going to dance with me for the Mother/Son dance, which I thought was really nice. The wedding is going to be spectacular.

I am so lazy sometimes. My room is a disaster. I have a pile of clothes spilling over my laundry basket. Empty water bottles all over my desk. Phone calls that need to be made. Applications need to be sent out, PRONTO. Bills need to be mailed.

And I'm not doing a damn thing. In fact I'm off to watch Survivor and then The Office.

I need to be a nomad.

Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Third Eye Blind - Red Star
.:: Missy ::.
Well, I think the spring is finally upon us! Thank god. Although, usually when I truly think that for the first time, we get snow once more so who knows?

Third Eye Blind on Sunday night was pretty good for a college show. Club/venue shows are usually a little bit better, and the set lists are usually better there too. I love 3eb so much its ridiculous. I don't think anyone can really understand how involved I am with this band. People would think I was crazy, plus I don't really talk about it. It's gotten to the point where I communicate with the one guitarist on a fairly regular basis, believe it or not. Sounds like something I made up, but it's true. The guys did come back for a little bit and took pics with us, which was nice. They usually stick around longer but whatever. I'm going to the Mansfield show on the 15th and would hit up West Chester on the 17th too if it didn't sell out so damn fast.

Last weekend I went to the benefit for Mrs. Lynch at Mangan's bar. It was nice to see some WA people again...plus anything for Mrs. Lynch. She is amazing and I hope she starts to get better soon <3

Aaaaand Gary is coming in this weekend!! Ahh, I miss my brother :)

I got really tired, really quick and I'm making this quick...
TCBY is out. DSW Shoes is in.
Still teaching kindergarten in Old Forge.
I love warm weather.

Weirdest update ever.

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: Third Eye Blind - Why Can't You Be
.:: Missy ::.
Happy Easter! I really didn't do anything today. I was going to go over my aunt's, but instead I got caught up on Survivor and Smallville, watched a movie and caught a special about polar bears. Besides, my little cousin's 6th birthday is this week so I'll go over then.

This is my last week at TCBY, thank god. I don't mind working two jobs, I just don't like getting out at midnight since the hours switched. I've applied to a bunch of places for another second job, but no calls yet. I still need a job for summer since I can't substitute because there isn't any school...Crap.

Subbing is going reaaaally well. I love it. I think my time is up though at the end of April, but it could be longer. I'm doing the grades for this marking period and holding the parent/teacher conferences...I'm pretty excited about that to be honest haha. I loooove everything about teaching, it's ridiculous.

My brother is coming home in 2 weeks or so. We are going to sample food for the wedding. Kristin just got some awesome job out in CO too. Gary's life is pretty much amazing right now. I'm so happy for him.

And I did get to see the lovely Veronica for Parade Day. That was good times haha. Minus me killing my camera, which I'm still pissed about.

I cannot wait for The Office to come back on. I love Jim and Pam, but who doesnt?? Actually, I love every character on that show haha.

This thing has become completely pointless haha.


Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: One Republic - All We Are
.:: Missy ::.
24 February 2008 @ 03:39 pm
I've just spent the past half hour or so going through old journals, looking for a specific entry (which I didn't find). It was really kind of amusing to go back and read some of them though..things I forgot about and things I wish I could forget about.

I really really miss college. I miss Bloomsburg. I miss my roommates. I miss our apartment. I even miss going to class. I miss fighting for a computer in the library. I miss taking the shuttle to class. I miss the dining halls. I miss nights out at Hess's and GOD's, and I miss the parties..both planned and impromptu. I miss sitting at my computer when the weather was warm with my feet out the window, listening to music. I miss watching movies with my roommates. I miss when my friends from home came down. I miss absolutely everything about it. There will never, ever be another time in my life like college. It was such an amazing experience.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be finished. I'm happy to be "grown up", whatever that means. I love teaching, I can't imagine myself doing anything else. And I can't wait to get a permanent job and as soon as that happens, everything else will fall into place. And I don't mind not going out every single night. I sure as hell don't mind getting piss ass drunk all the time...it's not what it's cracked up to be. Right now, I am generally happy. Sure, some things could be better, but that's life. It's mostly the whole job thing...but that will come with time. And the whole moving thing will work itself out in time. If I stay here, I stay...and if I move, I move. That's all there is to it.

A lot of my old journals talked about being single etc. I am completely happy with being single right now. If it happens, it happens...but I'm not stressing out about finding someone or certain persons anymore. It's not even worth it and I wish I didn't spend so much time worrying about it in the past. I don't know how I got so caught up in everything for such a long time. I can't believe I lost sleep over it haha. I will never allow myself to be like that again. Things may appear the same, but I have a slightly different picture in my head now.

I don't mean for this entry to be profound or anything along those lines haha. But I haven't really really written in a long time, and I kind of missed it. Over the last year, I've sort of calmed down and found "peace" (? for waaay lack of a better term...cheesy, I know) And I've really started to better myself in so many ways. And yes, I know how corny it sounds. I don't care.

Where is spring?! I can't take the winter anymore.

i love this song.Collapse )

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Third Eye Blind - Another Life
.:: Missy ::.
04 February 2008 @ 10:20 pm
I figured I'd update this then head to bed since my bed time has dramatically gotten earlier in the past few months. Go figure.

I'm going to be teaching Kindergarten in OF for the next 12-15 weeks. The teacher had to leave for some reason and requested me so...I'm pretty pumped about that. Kindergarten is exhausting though...they drain you! Its not babysitting like a lot of people think. It's actually my least favorite grade to teach, but it's 12 weeks in and maybe it will lead to something else...

My 23rd birthday was on Friday. I went to that "Winter Carnival" at OTC with some friends. It was a good time though, I can't complain. Then Sheetz and the Mohegan...and the Potter brothers were so kind as to pick me up. I'm going to make them my adopted step-brothers haha.

Nothing else too exciting is going on. There are a few concerts I want to go to coming up, yes that includes 3eb haha. I don't know where I am going to work this summer since schools are closed...I'm going to try to find a day camp or something. I'm thinking about leaving my second job for a different second job. One that isn't so damn late on the weekends and I get a discount haha.

I'm basically just trying to get my life in order. Develop some sort of routine in all aspects. I need to stay motivated and keep myself busy.

It's so hard to do things without money...substituting pays shit and although I work 2 jobs all the time, I have nothing to show for it. And I know money doesn't matter etc., but it sucks haha.

I guess thats about it. My bedtime is looming...
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: 3eb - Alright Caroline (new version)
.:: Missy ::.
16 January 2008 @ 11:02 pm
I just came home today from Colorado. I left on Friday and spent a few days with my brother and his fiance, Kristin. It was a lot of fun...I loved spending time with them. It's gorgeous out there...you drive down the road and can see the Rocky Mountains in the distance. And you can actually see it snowing on them when it snows. Crazy. We went to Estes Park, the Coors Brewery tour in Golden, the Blackhawk casinos and went out in Denver & Greeley. We also went to Pikes Peak which was incredible...unlike anything else I've ever seen in my entire life. I took a lot of pics...maybe I'll post them some time. I had so much fun...despite the fact that they lost my luggage for 2 days haha. Hopefully in the summer I can go back to visit. I miss Gary already, it sucks.

Back to work tomorrow, of course. A few other things have come up...but I refuse to mention them to anyone until after the fact.

I'm tired..and I have to unpack and do laundry. Crap.

I need to see my roommates again sometime soon. I'm going crazy without them!! haha.

Not too much else is going on...oh well. I thought I had more to say.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
.:: Missy ::.
Hello 2008!! You better not suck.

I was thinking about resolutions the other day. A resolution is a way to solve, or answer, a problem. So are we supposed to somehow think up ways to solve our problems on New Years? Don't you think we would have done that already if it was that easy?? I think they should be called New Year's Promises. Anyway, I'm going to make some promises to myself and make a conscious effort to stick to them...try to anyway. We'll see.

The holidays were pretty good I suppose. The usual...family, friends etc. My brother was in for a few days so that was probably the best part. And my little cousins, they are adorable. My little cousin, Karen, picked me out a present from Santa's workshop..it's just a cheesy necklace but its probably one of the best, if not the best, present I got.

New Year's was alright too..until the drama went down. But what else is new??

Hung out with some WA kids somewhere in between...that was a lot of fun too. It's good to catch up from time to time.

And the Potter's taught me how to shoot a gun. Watch out haha.

I'm going to Colorado to visit Gary for a few days on the 11th and I can't wait!! I'm not looking forward to the cold weather, but I'm interested to check the place out. It should be good times.

Nothing else too exciting...just working. Same shit, different year.


Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Better Than Ezra - Good
.:: Missy ::.
Did I ever mention that I hate Winter???

My brother is coming home this week..I can't wait! :-D I'm working though which suuucks. I seriously miss him so much it's ridiculous. Actually, I miss him at home. I miss him coming into my room and bothering me. I miss going into his room and just hanging out. It's weird because it will never, ever be like that again. He's one of my best friends and I just miss being with him.

I hate this whole, do I call/do I not call thing. Pain in my ass. Why can't he just call??? I quit...and I really don't care haha.

I havent even thought about New Year's yet. I better get on that. I can't believe this year is pretty much over. Time fliiiies. A lot has happened this year actually.

I'm starting to become obsessed with working. I'm off the 26th to the 3rd and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I should've went to AC haha...but oh well.

I don't have anything else to say.

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Matt Nathanson - Suspended
.:: Missy ::.
02 December 2007 @ 09:47 pm
Smells Like the 90's weekend on 97.9 totally made my weekend...I love 90's alternative music haha. I do, not gonna lie about it.

Also, I got to admit that being social again has been rather nice to me. I'll elaborate more on that later this week haha.

Life is good.

Current Music: The Flys - Where I Want You
.:: Missy ::.
27 November 2007 @ 10:12 pm
I figured I'd write a somewhat normal entry after my friends-only rant yesterday haha.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was good. I wish my brother was home for it, but what are you going to do?? I'm going out to Colorado to visit him in January..I'm pretty excited about that.

Last Wednesday was the usual plus OTC. I like to steer clear of Old Tyme...too many familiar people. Thanksgiving night I went to Tinks with some people..I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I became a hermit there for a while...I miss being social. Went out Saturday to the Woodlands. Blah. It was alright...like I said, I miss being social.

Subbing has been going really well. I have teachers requesting me so I feel like I am doing a pretty good job.

I think my fish is in his final days, maybe his final hours. He's not looking good. But hey, he's a 2 year old Betta from Walmart haha. I love him though <3

Whiskey Bisnak tomorrow! Sometimes it's the highlight of my week haha.

I'm beat...off to bed. Yeah yeah.

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: the tv
.:: Missy ::.
I actually saw a house fully decorated for Christmas tonight. It made me sick. I hate the holidays and I can't stand that they are right around the corner. I'm waiting for the year that this so-called "Christmas spirit" kicks me in the ass...but it's yet to happen.

I finally started subbing!! I subbed all last week, this week and next week in the Old Forge school district. It's not my number one choice (WB Area has called, but I've been committed to OF already), but a day in is a day in and it's still experience. I seriously love teaching so much...I feel like I shouldn't even be getting paid to do this. I get so immersed in what I'm doing when I'm teaching, I love it.

Third Eye Blind on Saturday was amazing. The Croc Rock was probably the worst venue I've ever been to...shitty sound quality and totally unorganzied, but whatever. As for the band, I thought it was def one of the better shows I've been too. I also ran into my friend Phil from Frosty Valley there...his exact word; "I had an erection the entire concert" haha..looks like I might have myself a new 3eb concert buddy since Gary moved haha. I feel like I got my batteries recharged again. Things get put into perspective. It breaks my heart..in a good way.

The baptism went well too...minus the fact I was sort of sick and lost my voice. My dad and my mom's side of the family have sort of drifted apart over the years so it's completely akward. I'm stuck in the middle. Not to mention my stepmother being a total bitch..I couldn't even look at her for fear of killing her. I will NEVER go to another family function of hers again. I'm through with that. I don't want to get into it...I'm going to blow up one day on her.

I lost this cd of these files from my old old computer...I can't find it anywhere. I know I had it at Bloom with me, but now it's MIA. I have so many random things put in so many random places in my room. It's ridiculous and it's annoying me haha.

I'm so tired of caring for people who don't care about me. Why should I be the only one to care?? I've got other things going on now. I'm learning to switch the channel and just keep on moving.

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Third Eye Blind - Darkness
.:: Missy ::.
I have been watching The Office so much that I have been having dreams about it haha.

This past weekend I went to Bloom. It was good times. Got to see some of the gang again so that was nice. And of course we had to hit up GOD's. I really really miss Bloomsburg. I do. It felt really weird to be back though...like we didn't belong there anymore.

So my name is on the substitute list in a bunch of schools...so now I am just waiting for them to actually call me. Sometimes I really feel like my life will never get started.

Third Eye Blind this weekend along with my godson's Christening. Beerfest next weekend which I'm really hoping to make it to.

Nothing else too exciting is going on. My life is pretty boring these days...and I kind of like it.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Incubus - Drive (acoustic)
.:: Missy ::.
Third Eye Blind.

I feel like, and quite possibly sound like, I'm about 13 years old again. Buuuut, you'll have that. It's weird how things change...how, yes, something that once was an obsession (and might still be) has grown more into a deep appreciation and passion. And enjoyment haha. I still can't get enough. And I mean that with complete complete truth and honesty.

I've gone through the old bootlegs and the new bootlegs. The old released and unreleased stuff, and the new released and unreleased stuff. The music released as side projects from different members of the band. I've gone through old interviews and new interviews. Gone through my video collection; VHS to DVD to online. About 95% of 3eb articles from 1997-2007.. whatever I could get my hands on or buy off ebay. Every magazine clipping and picture..because God knows I have kept all that stuff. Pictures from concerts. Autographs. Drumsticks. Bottle caps. Set Lists. Guitar Picks from band members come and gone. Tapes that I cleverly recorded while hanging out backstage with the band.

I love it all. I've always sort of immersed myself into that world really really deeply, without anyone truly knowing how much passion I have for the band. It feels like this underground thing that a lot of people are missing out on, and I'm okay with that. I see the same people at the concerts that I have for the past 8 years. We're like a family in a weird way. They have an almost cult-like following. Very very hardcore fans. May not be as popular as it once was, or as popular as "unpopular" bands these days. But who cares?

And I'm sure every band has a faithful following like 3eb does, and I hope they do. But this just happens to be the one I am apart of.

My taste in music has grown and spread out over the years. It's not like I'm in a 3eb tunnel vision. But 3eb is something that I have always always always come back to. I've always been following them...keeping up to date on news. They've pretty much been apart of my life for the past 10 years. I've always had their music...and nothing could ever take that away. Not to mention the fact that I just totally love the music in general haha. And the fact that I think Stephan Jenkins is a lyrical genius. And a lot of people would be surprised to hear the names of some of the bands he's produced.

I love going to their concerts. I've said it before, it's like my batteries are being recharged. It always puts things into perspective. And it shakes me, as if to remind myself who I am. I can't expain it. I really really can't. I hope everyone has something like this in life.

I can't even put it all into words. But hopefully, you know what I mean.

And I get to see them again.
11/10 in Atown and 11/11 in Philly <3
I cannot wait!!!

Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: 3eb - Alright Caroline
.:: Missy ::.
Not that I have too much to say...just bored I suppose.

Last Friday night I went down to AC with Bryan and Frank. It was fun...minus the insane amount of pain I was in on the way home due to my bladder exploding haha. Not to mention the fact I was dead tired. Ultimately we were all up in end (even if it was only by $7 for me haha). No fun was had, hookers were seen, money won, and Bryan and Frank are totally insane, but so am I and I love it haha.

My aunt, the baby and family are doing really well. I went over on Sunday for a little bit. Always time well spent.

Last night was Whiskey Bisnak, as the usual Wednesday goes.

I finally got my temporary teaching certificate so all I have to do is update my fingerprints and I am ready to substitute! Next Friday is my last day at Wachovia. I am not sad about that at all. I am so ready to say peace out to the banking world.

Gary officially moved to Colorado. Crazy.

November 10th and 11th I am going to see 3eb in Atown and Philly. I'm about to pee my pants I am so excited :-D

The more I think about stupid crap, the more I really think I am going to wind up alone. But I am way too picky and stubborn to just settle. I need to remind myself that there is no such thing as the perfect person. What the hell am I even looking for? I don't even know.

I've already written everything in this entry before. How pointless? I'm too tired to think on any level that is higher than this right now though.

Current Mood: tiredtired
.:: Missy ::.
Wow...the past few days have been a blur. I'll start with the best news...

My aunt had the baby! I'm a Godmother! This morning around 1:50am...a healthy baby boy, Robert David. 5.2 lbs., 18 inches long. He came about a month early, but then again Karen (my little cousin) came 2 months early. I spent all day down at the hospital with the family. He's adorable...the most beautiful baby ever. My little cousin is so excited to be a big sister. I love them so much it's seriously ridiculous. My aunt and uncle have the type of relationship that I want. I'm so happy they have such a happy and healthy family. Anyway, my aunt and the baby are coming home on Wednesday..I can't wait!

Saturday was Nat and Eric's wedding down in Boyertown. It was so good to see the Bloomsburg crew again. We're going to plan a get together sometime soon...probably down in Philly. I miss them all so much. The wedding was a blast haha Good times.

My brother and his fiancee are moving to Colorado on October 15th. It's pretty crazy, but their happy I guess. It just stinks cause I don't know when I'm going to see him again. I miss just hanging out with him, doing nothing. Gary and I were always really close...I miss him.

Hopefully, I'll start subbing within the next 2-3 weeks. I can't wait. Wachovia is being awesome though and letting me work any days that I'm not subbing. So basically I get to go in whenever I want to. Beriyo is such an easy job, and I really enjoy the extra money I'm making there.

It's amazing how people who I consider to be pretty good friends, really don't give a crap about anything in my life. I'm pretty much over that. I don't understand why it's so hard to actually behave like a normal human being and show some compassion once and a while towards anyone. I'm tired of caring too much only to get shit on. I'm done with it. Adios!

I can honestly say that I am over it...and have been for a while now, but just recently realized it. It's wonderful.

I'm already so behind on all of my tv shows. Damn.

I guess thats it. I have more to say I guess but whatever.

"Through the satellites I fight with you
That local brew is spillin'
I know just how you spend your time.
Somebody's party in a London flat,
You're where it's at
And I know you want to see me lose my mind.
I'm tired of chasing after you
The residue is jealous
See me on the dark side of your mind.
To a club that's pounding in the London rain
The world could end, we wouldn't hear it.
I know just what's on your mind
I see the way your face has changed
We're no good for each other
You tricked me into coming here
So let go
I don't want to go to London."

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: 3eb - London (cover)
.:: Missy ::.
I hate the fact that its starting to get colder out. I hate winter...and its approaching rather quickly. It's so weird to be home too. I feel like summer didn't end yet, really, because I didnt go back to school. Weird.

Today I had my future godson's baby shower :) I am so excited I can't even begin to form words haha. One thing I do love about being home though is spending more time with my aunt, uncle and cousin. I just can't get enough.

Last night I went to Buff's wedding. I still can't believe she got married!! The wedding was really really nice and she looked amazing. And her husband is such a good guy. I'm so happy for her. Not to mention the fact that her baby is beautiful and belongs in a magazine. He's adorable, he really is. It's so weird..I remember the BSB days. It feel like a lifetime ago, yet only about a month ago!

My brother might be moving to Colorado, which blows my mind. But, he doesn't mind and neither does his fiance so thats good. It'll give me some place to visit. And as long as they're happy...thats good. I can't imagine my brother living across the country.

I've decided to take a sabatacle when it comes to men. I just don't need them...and they just seem to be letting me down a lot these days. I think I just need some "me" time. I'm going to try to remove myself from situations and figure out what I want. I feel some big changes coming on.

No jobs yet..unfortunately. Beriyo is whatever..I wish they gave me more hours though. I need money. The bank is the bank. I'm hoping to start substituting by mid-late October....hoping. Graduating college absolutely sucks. Its one shitty thing right after another. I wish I was settling in down in Maryland right about now. I cant wait for things to turn around and go my way.

I've been watching my Buffy dvds a lot lately. I still think Buffy is probably my all-time favorite tv show.

Thats pretty much it. Genesis this Thursday!! Phil Collins is the man haha

Current Mood: calmcalm
.:: Missy ::.
03 September 2007 @ 08:18 pm
I feel like an update...a real one.

So, the school year has started and I am without a job. I'm still working at the bank full-time, and as of tomorrow I am also working at TCBY Beriyo part-time at night. No comment besides the fact that it stinks.In so many ways I wish I had my own class etc...but at the same time, I'm sort of happy I don't. There is so much planning and prep work involved in teaching, especially elementary, that I would seriously have no time to myself. I dont know if I'm really ready for that. I have no problem working...but I don't know if I'm ready to settle down with my job that I will have pretty much forever. So, I've been applying to random places like Head Start, the Friendship House etc. It's still in my field...just not AS demanding. The only problem is that teaching certificates are only good for 5 years, and within those 5 years I need to be taking classes. 5 years can go by pretty quick...so I need to get on it. My mind changes everyday about my future. I'm only 22...I don't feel like thinking about this right now. And I don't have school anymore to kick me into that "mode" that I usually get in.

So, there is this guy who I've been talking to at work. He's nice..you know, whatever. However (because there is always a however), he pretty much just wants to hook up. And for one reason or another...I just can't do that. I'm done with that. I'm not looking for that. If anything, I want an actual, real, relationship. And I've become so picky about guys that I think I'm too picky. This guy from work is incrediably nice...too nice! I can't handle that..so thats pretty much the end of it. I've come to the conclusion that I need an asshole...because I am, in fact, an asshole haha. I'm content to be on my own, I suppose. And everything else is just a loooong long, overplayed, never-ending story. I don't think we'll ever be done. So thats where that ends..and where this keeps going. Sometimes logic makes absolutely no sense. And I wish this were easier.

My little cousin started Kindergarten at WA this past week. She's adorable. I love her so much..I didn't think it was even possible. She already has boys chasing her on the plaground haha. She is going to be little heartbreaker, I can see it now lol. I love going to visit my aunt, I do. I can't wait for the baby to come!! I'm seriously going to spoil those kids rotten..even more than I do now haha. But thats the godmother's job!! haha

It hasn't occurred to me until this past year, more specifically this past summer, just how fast life actually goes. It boggles my mind. I'm starting to feel older or something. It's very strange, very exciting, and very very scary.

I think more than anything though right now I really really want to move out of my house. I need that independance. I just can't afford it right now...and it kills me.

This past weekend was a lot of fun. HIL DUFF on Friday night in Atown was awesome!! haha It was seriously soooo much fun..Hilary Duff is just awesome and pure fun lol. I spent Saturday with my aunt, uncle and little cousin. And last night Meredith had some people up for a casino themed party. It was fun...had a late start, but fun never the less. The hottub was my personal highlight of the night. Although the blackjack table was fun too haha. By the end of the night, I just wanted to go home...but people took my keys and whanot. I honestly was fine to drive. Yeah, it might of been a bad choice ultimately but I know what I can and cant do. I do appreciate my friends caring though.

On that note...I absolutely love my friends <3 It's so nice to be here year round...I've never really been around this much. Hmm...that could be good or bad haha.

I do miss Bloomsburg though...a lot.

I started watching The Office a lot lately...that show is hysertical haha.

I need to take this nail polish off, take a shower....and start my new book.

Farewell Summer '07.
...although to me you felt nothing at all like summer.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
.:: Missy ::.
26 August 2007 @ 06:13 pm
Eating an Italian Ice in those hard plastic cups makes me feel like I'm about 9 years old haha.

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
.:: Missy ::.
I can honestly say, that I officially hate my job. Thank you. Is it sad that I am looking forward to a part-time night job while subbing? I don't even care if it is.

Anyway, the Malibu is officially gone. I miss her in some ways haha. There were A LOT of memories in that car...good and bad haha.

I am really going to make a conscious effort to say 'eff it' and just do as I please. I dont care how it affects other, or my relationships with others. And if it's not said outloud...the thought isn't crossing my mind anymore. I'm tired of analyzing, knit-picking and inferencing. It's not worth the effort. I'm tired of bullshit.

I really wish I was moved into an apartment in MD and setting up my classroom. Yeah, I'll do something good with this degree - one day.

I'm reading a book...I can't even believe it.

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed